When I began my Twin Flame journey (aka my spiritual journey), little did I know about the changes I would undergo in what now seems like a rather short amount of time.
Going through a life crisis isn't fun. Seeing what you had built crumble before your eyes is not easy. Taking the next step may feel daunting, yet, that's the best thing we can do.
After all, the saying does go: "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade", and through this blog, I would like to share how to just do just that. What it means to "create a life of love", and how you, too, can build a life in which, regardless of the circumstances, you can see everything as a life lesson, even in the most unexpected, challenging, and unbelievable of circumstances.
A life where you can turn any challenge into a miracle. A life purely based on Love. Unconditional Love.
Building a Life of Love From The Beginning
The year was 2017, I was 34 years old, single parent to a then 4 year-old son. I had just finished my University degree while working a full-time job. A job that, in all honesty, was never satisfying but was enough to put a roof over our heads and a meal on our plates.
Everything seemed stable, except for two things: my routine, which was a complete mess, and the never-ending economical crisis in Argentina, where I grew up. Because of these, we lived in constant fear and a sense of instability. This made it clear to me that my family's future was laying somewhere else, if I ever desired a better life and future for us.
With this in mind, and after a lot of thought, I finally made the decision to move to Germany. There, I felt like Home in a way I had never experienced in all my years living in Buenos Aires. I spent the following 12 months gathering every document and certificate I could possibly. I got them certified and translated, while also beginning to set everything up to move overseas, including a request for our European Citizenships.
By December 2016 I had everything organized: basic language skills, documents and certificates, a place to live for the first three months, and savings to accommodate ourselves while finding a job for at least a whole year. Everything was set except for one (not so) "small" detail: the citizenship request -that would have allowed us to live in Europe- was still pending.
Back then, it felt like nothing was moving because I wasn't taking the scariest step: quitting my job. So I finally gathered the courage to set a flying date and send my resignation letter. However, after two days of taking these steps it suddenly hit me: what if our European Citizenships weren't complete by the time of our flight? After all, I was told this would take up to 5 months, and that "deadline" was already overdue.
They say that if you want to make God laugh, you may as well tell Him your plans. And indeed, Life was having a VERY different plan laid out for me.
"If the Plan Doesn't Work, Change the Plan but Never the Goal." - Unknown
This is exactly what happened: In my excitement to start a new, better life, I rushed through the process and didn't wait for the most important thing: the documents that would have allowed us to actually stay and start that new life in Europe.
Truth is, the request I was told would take 3 to 5 months, ended up taking 5 years! (Yes, 5 years. I wish I wasn't making this up).
So, in the middle of this -let's call it "mishap"... what next, right?
Well, I did my best to revert my resignation, which didn't work. I wasn't finding a new job either, in spite of my experience and credentials. Naturally, after a couple of months my savings were declining and a decision needed to be made: either to keep going this route and be broke within 2 more months; or use that same money to knock on the last possible doors I could in Germany, and see if we could still make it work.
Took me a while, but I went for option number 2, and in September 2017 we flew with my son for 3 whole months in the hopes that our documents would finally be done before the end of the "trip". However, once in Germany I learned exactly how real my chances of finding a job were: VERY low.
Turns out, without European Citizenship, finding a job was a very long shot, and this route didn't work either. I was left with no other choice but to go back to Buenos Aires, land at my mom's place empty handed, with nothing left but our suitcases and a deep sense of loss and heartbreak.
A Deeper Meaning
After nine months of wondering how did I not see this coming BEFORE quitting my job, while feeling like my dream had been crushed into pieces, and like I had met the love of my life while moving through one of my worst life crisis all at once, I knew I had to make sense of all of it.
I have always been the kind of person who believes things like this must have a meaning, a purpose, and this wouldn't be the exception. I, then, started looking for answers in the only place I knew it might have them: the Internet.
I searched and searched, until I came across terms such as "dark night of the soul" (a.k.a. life crisis) and, ultimately, the term "Twin Flames". The more I read about these topics, the more the experiences I went through in all those months prior started to make sense. A wonderful change was in the making, and this was just the beginning of a better life in every single possible way, even when I was unable to see it that way yet.
Learn From the Ones Who Have What You Desire
As it tends to be the case, in difficult times there's nothing better than finding someone who can bring some light to what you are experiencing. And that's exactly how I felt upon meeting who would later become my Spiritual Teachers: Jeff & Shaleia.
When looking to accomplish something, it is always best to learn and follow those who already have what you desire. This will ensure you have the best support to take you from where you are to where you want to be. Of course, nobody says you should follow anything -or anyone- blindly. Quite the opposite, you should always try things on and see if they are right for you. And that's what I did upon meeting this body of work.
As I found them on YouTube, something about them and what they were sharing just hit home for me. I felt they knew exactly what they were talking about, and I could feel all the missing pieces I had were finally falling into place.
After listening to their videos, I learnt they also had a book. I immediately chose to invest in it with a helping hand from my mom, who lent me the money. The more I read it, the more in love I fell with it. The book was so magnetic, I just couldn't put it down! And upon coming to chapter 5, there I was, face to face with the tool that would change everything from that moment on: The Mirror Exercise.
As I tried my first Mirror Exercise, I experienced an inner peace I had never felt before. I had tried meditation, affirmations, family constellations, and visualizations, but none provided me the comfort and relief this 4-step exercise gave me in just a few minutes. It was so easy to apply, that up until this day is the only practice I can still sustain on a regular basis. Thanks to this, I've been able to find a deeper meaning to many of my past circumstances, learning how some situations -thou messy or unexpected, were, in fact, filled with purpose. And that 2017 life crisis was no exception.
Be Willing To Start From Scratch.
As hard as it may be, you must acknowledge where you are at in your life. You don’t have to like it, and it is absolutely ok to feel this way.
Doing this might be a hard pill to swallow, but it is going to bring you the relief you seek. The first step to resolving a problem is admitting you are having one in the first place. Doing this will bring you the clarity you need. It will give you the push to want to change, but most importantly, it will provide you with the willingness to make that change be sustainable over time.
You must acknowledge you are where you are because of the previous choices you made, whichever those choices were. You ought to see all the times, places and circumstances in which you weren't nice to yourself whether because you were scared, selling yourself short, saying (or thinking) nasty things about yourself, or simply because you didn't know any better, and were just doing the best you could with what has been given to you.
You must, then, find the tools and resources that will help you resolve these problems at their core and help you go from A to B, so to speak.
Allow the Change to Take Place
"The only constant in life is change" -Heraclitus.
Looking back, I knew my life wasn't feeling good at my core. Most of the time I was moving from one thing to the next, never feeling satisfied, and oftentimes finding myself in relationships that were not good for me.
Whether it was at work, friendships, family or my romantic relationships, I would always bump with the same rock over and over again. Since I had taken a few psychology classes during highschool, I knew I was repeating a pattern in all of my relationships, yet I was unable to find a true, sustainable solution to it.
This all changed as I started to embrace the Mirror Exercise and the Teachings of Union. A Teaching that showed me that I am the powerful creator of my reality, and how my thoughts and beliefs about myself and the world are what ultimately shape the reality I am experiencing.
The life I was building prior to the 2017's life crisis was very far from being a loving one to myself. I was doing everything alone with barely any help from anyone, and I was losing myself in that process. I had come to a point in my life where I was taking care of everything and everyone -my son, my job, my studies, our family pet, and my mom and her illness- but me. I was, unknowingly, draining myself in the hopes to have every aspect of my life handled, and I even had enough examples around to show me that this path wasn't going to end up well for me.
As challenging as change can be, life IS leading you somewhere better. Far better than what most of us can believe possible sometimes. And that's what, in truth, was happening. Without knowing it, life was making sure I would make the best out of what, at the time, seemed like the biggest mistake possible. Truth is, in the end I did get everything I have set myself to accomplish.
Yes, between December 2017 and December 2019 I was living with my mom in a small 2 bedroom apartment in Buenos Aires. I was still mostly unemployed, and my son and I were sleeping on a mattress on the floor as a result of my "failed" attempt to move to Germany. We didn’t have very much space for ourselves, even less so the money to cover for our basic needs such as food and our own place. We could barely rely on Argentina's public health system to keep an eye on our well-being.
Today, I can easily find a part-time job that pays me better than a full-time one in Buenos Aires. I live with my perfect partner -my Twin Flame- Paco in a beautiful 3 bedroom apartment. We live in a wonderful city in Austria, and have everything we need for our daily life. We have a small yet very beautiful garden in our wonderful balcony, and can afford a place and food for our family.
All these "things" I thought I had lost have come back to me from a steadier and more grounded place, all thanks to the Teachings of Union, the loving guidance of my Spiritual Teachers, Jeff & Shaleia, their body of work, their community, and my choice to heal anything that doesn't feel good about my reality.
I get to shape the life of my dreams everyday, alongside my wonderful man, with whom I’m to be married soon.
Yes, going through a life crisis is challenging, but when you are able to see the truth behind it, and count your blessings, you can then open the door to the wonderful gifts life has for you.
Maybe you desire a big house filled with joy and laughter. Maybe you desire that amazing, fancy car that melts you away when you hear it purr upon starting its engine. Or maybe you crave for a truly loving family and friends who love you unconditionally. No matter what your dreams are, they are all meant to be fulfilled, but you do have to start somewhere, and that starting point may not always be, look or feel very "glamorous".
Building a life of love means you learn how to choose what is best for you, no matter where you are in life. It doesn't matter how it looks, it only matters how you feel about it. It can be the simplest, tiniest thing, yet bring you so much joy. And, in the end, that's all that matters: that every aspect of your life becomes a reflection of the loving choices you are making on your way to give yourself the best life you can possibly have.
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